Joke thread

Discussion in 'Off Topic Discussion' started by Cimota, Nov 21, 2012.

  1. A blind man walks into a fish market and says " Hey ladies!"
    • Up x 1
  2. You need to Iron out that joke before I call a Copper.
    • Up x 1
  3. PS2's metagame!

    Now thats comedy.
  4. I tried to think of another chemistry pun but I guess the good ones Argon.
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  5. Wasn't expecting that one, I loled
  6. What's the difference between a truck full of hay and a truck full of babies?
    I can't unload hay with a pitchfork.

    Your momma is so fat, that your father no longer finds her attractive and it is ruining their marriage.

    Chemistry jokes are Boron anyways
  7. Not necessarily. For example if Iron Man and The Silver Surfer teamed up, they would be Alloys!
  8. I dropped my keys in a puddle the other day, and they went rusty.

    Never mind. Oxidants happen.
  9. Deaf Wife ran off with Deaf Neighbour

    ..... i should have seen the signs

  10. Here is a rather long one.

    A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie!

    The genie said, "OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes. So you can forget about getting three wishes. You only get one wish."

    The man sat down on the beach and thought about it for awhile. Then he said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii; but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so that I can drive over there to visit?"

    The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete... how much steel...! No. Think of another wish."

    The man tried to think of another wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced several times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So I wish that I could understand women... know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment...know why they're crying...know what they really want when they say, 'Nothing'...know how to make them truly happy...."

    The genie said, "You want that bridge two lanes or four?"
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  11. Thinking of getting into the diaper business but I hear you have to attend meetings and be pretty dependable. Overall people say it's a pretty sh-tty business.

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